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The engineering of love
By Serge Kreutz
From the time I was around 15 years old, my main aim in life has been to become an expert in the engineering of love. No, my aim has not just been to become a good lover. I am a firm believer in the power of knowledge, and in the scientific, the engineering approach. I believe in studying every aspect of a chosen topic, and I believe in studying it in great detail.
Love and sex are, of course, closely related. We like to have sex with the person we love, especially if we are jealous. And if the person whom we love will let us.
If we are not loved anymore, and if we ourselves do no longer love, life is dull. People who don't feel loved, or who believe of themselves that they do not need to be loved, and who themselves don't love, die earlier than those with a healthy love and sex life.
I talk about the engineering of love, not a religion or mythology of love. As in any field of engineering, my interest is practical.
I imagine the engineering of love as a technical discipline that aids those who study it in building their own better love lives.
No, this is not psychological counseling. The aim is not to change people's own perceptions about their love lives.
A shrink may treat a depressed person by convincing him that no, the world doesn't look down on him, and that no, he is not a flop, not a complete failure in life.
I imagine the love technology not to deal with perceptions of love but with actual parameters. It's a basic principle in any field of science and engineering that there is something to be measured. At the first instance it may sound strange that we indeed believe that yes, quantities of love can be measured, too. We may not be able to express amounts of love in centimeters or kilograms, but I sure know the difference in the amounts of love felt towards me when I compare my girlfriend for five months with a street hooker who is offering me a blow job.
I am an eccentric, unknown author. I don't need to be successful, I don't need to be rich, and I don't want to be famous... I really just want to be in a love relationship, and I want to be at the beginning of such a love relationship. I want to relive again and again what one would consider the best time of one's life. Obviously not again and again with the same girl.
Some people may say that this is out of focus. We ought to accept that all life declines. To age gracefully. I will not do that. I use all available technologies to avoid aging.
As anybody, I have had my fill of esoteric nonsense about love. Mullahs and priests talk about it. Love as the foundation of the happy family, love as the pillar of a moral lifestyle, love as the ultimate political principle, you name it.
I'm not going to elaborate on any of this.
I am much more interested in the practicalities of love. For example, I want to know what I can do to arrange for a good number of attractive women to love me. I'd like them to be not too experienced in the field of love... yes, sexual love. I'd like to be the big love of their lives. I don't want to become their husband for 30 plus years.
Am I crazy? I don't think so. I just lack modesty.
What I describe above is my idea of life. I go about to engineer it.
What does it take to engineer love? I subscribe to a scientific approach. I work from the small to the large. I believe in solid knowledge of details. I believe in the rule of cause and effect. If a girl is deadly in love with her boyfriend, then there are reasons why this happened. It's not accidental, though it may seem to be. It's also not just one cause but a combination of many. And it can be scientifically analyzed, though I am not aware of any university faculty working specifically on the topic. I know of a Professor of Desire (Eugene Roth's book), but haven't heard of an engineering faculty dedicated to the mechanics or the chemistry of love.
As a youth I read Kierkegaard's Seducer's Diary because I was fascinated by the concept whereby even the holiest of emotions, love, can be engineered. I didn't learn many practical tricks from Kierkegaard, and I don't remember much of the book either. But the idea behind it's title is still with me.
I have also read Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray. I don't remember a single scene of the book, but again the idea of preserving youth fascinated me.
I talk in bed. It sounds like an admission of a weakness, or of some kinkiness, but in fact, I believe there is a necessity to talk in bed, before and after sexual intercourse. Language is a very important tool in the field of sex and love, and apart from that, how the heck am I going to learn something about love if I don't ask and listen.
I don't mean that the particular discipline of engineering that concerns itself with love ought to deal with the needs of older men chasing young women. There should be equal weight on the needs of men and women, and of the young, the older, and the old (why, by the way, are those categorized as older actually considered younger than those categorized as old). But then again, this is not a treatise setting the foundation for a new faculty of engineering. This is just light reading on a heavy subject.
So now, the engineering of love.
I have talked to many women of different cultures about the loves of their lives. Consistently, the men with whom they fell in love were physically attractive to them. If you are serious about engineering love, take care that you are physically attractive. There is a lot you can do. You don't have to waste much money on cosmetics. They do little but cost a lot. You also waste considerable time applying them. I'd go for the grander solutions. Cosmetic surgery really can make a difference. Look at the metamorphosis of Michael Jackson. You don't have to go that far, but if I have the choice between a bigger car and a better look, I surely choose the better look.
I mentioned earlier that as a writer, even though I want to be read, I don't want to be known. Being well-known is a handicap, whatever way you turn it. Can't even have a facelift without facing gossip.
You want to look athletic, or at least, you don't want to look overweight. To engage in bodybuilding obviously is very time consuming, and not everybody will achieve good results. Forcing exercise may leave you with strained muscles or sore joints, or whatever, long before your biceps will look impressive.
While engineering an athletic figure is not always a feasible task, you can avoid being overweight. Yes, do sports, but apart from that, think about your diet.
1998
