Great Sex

By tongkatali.org
Updated February 19, 2023

Great sex starts with being engulfed in desire. The desire must be there, even if one tries to suppress it.

In great sex, as opposed to so-so sex, one reaches the plateau phase with minimal effort. The plateau phase is when a man is ready to orgasm, and sure that the orgasm would happen if he lets go. Men have different level's of control over their plateau physiology. Some men have extended control and can ascend and descend and experience multiple orgasms, others not.

If you don't do anything much, you can stay on the plateau maybe 15 minutes, even longer. In great sex, orgasms happen even when trying to delay them further, without the necessity for any laboring. And then you are swallowed by a black hole.

The ultimate inevitably of an orgasm is not premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation happens without the most pleasurable phase, the plateau.

From a male perspective, 99.9 percent of what is shown in porn is not great sex. Too much physical laboring. Maybe some women need this frenetic pumping for vaginal orgasms. But as a man, you don't have a proper plateau if you can engage in such exhausting physical exercise.

Hectic pumping, as in porn, can produce an ejaculatory reflex. But that doesn't make it great sex. Great sex is when a man has ejaculatory reflexes based on heightened desire, with minimal genital stimulation.

Great sex cannot be coordinated for a climax together. When women feel that men think there should be a climax together, they will often just fake it in order to make a good impression. If you both want good orgasms, then you separate them.

Great sex is metaphysical. When being engulfed in desire, on the plateau, when sinking into the black hole, and when recovering from the sequence, you know that it's good to be alive. No need for any theory or religion. You just feel it.

Producing these chains of events is the only rational aspiration in life.

The physiology of sex

The physiology of having sex (not necessarily great sex) was first described scientifically as a sexual response cycle by William Masters and Virginia Johnson in the 1960s, based on research they started in the 1950s. Masters, a married gynecologist with 2 children, in 1957, hired, as research assistant, Virginia Johnson, a pianist with no medical background, who had been divorced three times (her first marriage lasted only 2 days).

In Masters' lab, they first studied the sexual response in prostitutes and masturbating men. They then attached the wires, measuring heart rate, to themselves and thus scientifically tested their own response while having sex with each other. Later they married.

The post-WWII years were prudish, and sexual research was frowned upon in America, as experienced by Wilhelm Reich, who tried to study the accumulation of orgasmic energy (which he named orgone) in sealed boxes (basically Faraday cages) by a person sitting inside.

This accumulated orgasmic energy was supposed to heal all kinds of ailments, including cancers.

William Burroughs, the US Beat Generation writer who, in Mexico City on September 6, 1951, shot dead his wife, owned and used such an orgone accumulator. Shooting his wife was not intentional.

In a bar, when drunk, Burroughs wanted to show off his William Tell marksmanship. The original William Tell, in 1307, was spared execution for insurrection because he was able to shoot off an apple from his young son's head. But Burroughs aimed too low and missed the glass on his wife's head, hitting her in the face instead.

Many other American post-war literature luminaries used orgone accumulators: Allen Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac (On the Road, 1957), J. D. Salinger (The Catcher in the Rye, 1951), and particularly Norman Mailer (The Naked and the Dead, 1948), who heaped praise on the Wilhelm Reich construction.

Sean Connery, the sexiest James Bond ever, was also in for it, as was noted in Christopher Turner's Adventures in the Orgasmatron, excerpted in the New York Times of September 23, 2011 ["At the height of his James Bond fame, Sean Connery swore by the device"].

From 1922 to 1930, Wilhelm Reich, a physician by training, worked as a psychoanalyst in Sigmund Freud's Ambulatorium in Vienna, before moving to Berlin in 1930. In the 1920s and early 1930s, the central European losers of WWI, Germany and Austria, were a fertile ground for all kinds of revolutionary theories, including those of Wilhem Reich, presented in his books Die Funktion des Orgasmus (1927), Der Einbruch der Sexualmoral: Zur Geschichte der sexuellen Ökonomie (1932), Die Sexualität im Kulturkampf: Zur sozialistischen Umstrukturierung des Menschen (1936), published in English as The Sexual Revolution (1945).

In the first decades of the twentieth century, Sigmund Freud was the preeminent authority of psychology. But modern psychology and neurology regard him as a teller of fairy tales. His constructs of the mind have no representation in anatomy. Sound medical science, on the other hand, observes biological processes that can be measured.

Reich at least attempted this. More than 30 years before Masters and Johnson published their Human Sexual Response, Wilhelm Reich reported a summary of his own lab measurements of sexual arousal, performed with an oscillograph in a lab in Oslo, Norway, in an essay titled Der Orgasmus als Elektro-physiologische Entladung (The Orgasm as an Electrophysiological Discharge, 1934).

While in comparison to Freud, Reich was more modern in that he realized that science is about experiments, and measuring events in the material world, rather than the dissemination of wild theories, Reich's lab protocols were never stringent enough. Reich's efforts were probably also hampered by his desire to come up with something really big, first orgasmic energy in humans, and, in his final years, orgasmic radiation in the earth's atmosphere.

He constructed batteries of 15-foot aluminum pipes, which he named cloudbusters, and proclaimed that with these instruments, he could cause rainfall. He dreamed of a breakthrough jackpot, but ended life as a jailed crackpot, after having been arrested for selling unlicensed medical devices, his orgone accumulators.

In spite of Reich's strange machines, some of his basic ideas, revolutionary when first presented, are so commonplace today that they are no longer associated with any particular theory: That sexual reppression (for example of women and youngsters) can be a tool of political oppression. The idea that sexual suppression and orgasmic disorders were causing not just mental and, by extension, political problems but make people prone to disease. That orgasms, and the capability to experience them (dubbed orgastic potency by Reich), are a major factor in psychological, and, one step further, physiological well-being. By reverse logic, it was assumed, since the 1960s, that orgasms could heal all kinds of ailments... without necessity of an orgone accumulator.

Empirically, it was known since the 18th century that the absence of orgasms could cause mental problems, and that experiencing orgasms could indeed cure medical conditions, though the terminology in the Victorian Era was not sexual. In 18th century medicine, hysteria was thought of as a female organic disorder that would present itself with the following symtoms, among others: irritability, anxiousness, a tendency to make trouble for others, insomnia, excessive fluid between the legs... The practionners (who called themselves doctors but usually made things worse rather than cure patients) had discovered a rather harmless but effective cure for hysteria: genital stimulation by hand to induce what was called physician-assisted paroxysm (paroxysm = a sudden fit of emotion).

The obvious relief was considered non-sexual at that time because male medical pseudoscience assumed that healthy women had no sexual desires. The purpose of the massage, as advertised by Dr. Swift in the pamphlet shown above, was to remove excessive fluid build-up from the womb. Even the observation that married women were less likely to be diagnosed with hysteria than unmarried ones was not attributed to sexual satisfaction but the magical power of male semen to balance fluids in the female abdomen.

Just as carpal tunnel syndrome nowadays is an occupational disease of secretaries who do a lot of computer work, hysteria-treating doctors of the 19th century frequently suffered wrist and fingerjoint pain, for obvious reasons. Relief brought an 1880s invention of Joseph Mortimer Granville: the electrical vibrator.

Initially, the vibrator (nicknamed Granville Hammer) was sold only to doctors for treating muscle pain, but it had exchangeable heads. Some were easy to use for the induction of paroxysm and much appreciated by paroxysm practioners as a labor-saving device.

For a number of years, when unsuspecting men hadn't found out yet for what it could also be used, vibrators were marketed to women just like sewing machines and electric fans, for example in 1918 by mail order retailer Sears, Roebuck and Co. Unlike Reich's orgone accumulators, the first generations of vibrators weren't sold as the orgasmic devices they turned out to be. And unlike Reich's orgasm boxes, the vibrators are still around. Very much so.

The publication of Masters and Johnson's first work, Human Sexual Response, occurred in 1966. It fueled the 1960s Sexual Revolution, when the pill became accepted and Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer made it through the US Supreme Court as literature, not pornography.

The work of Masters and Johnson was funded with a 300,000 US dollars grant by Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, a champion of great sex.

By the end of the 1950s, Paul Getty was the richest American, with a net,worth of more than 700 million US dollars (as reported by Fortune). Forbes, in April 2021, reported Jeff Bezos as the richest man in the world, with a net,worth of 177 billion US dollars. By this measure, Heffner's grant to Masters and Johnson, at 2021 standards, would be in the range of 60 million US dollars. Thus, the Sexual Revolution of the 1960s was not only propelled by Hefner's soft-porn publication, but also, at least partially, bankrolled by him.

Strategies for great sex

Calvin Coolidge may not rank prominently in US history books, but he was the US President who, more than any other, made his mark in neuroscience. The Coolidge Effect is regularly covered in neurology textbooks, and referenced in endocrinology university courses. Behavioral biology has also taken note.

Coolidge had a reputation for not talking a lot, and for a dry humor. His wife once visited a chicken farm and noticed that a rooster mated frequently. She asked the attendant who showed her around: "How often does that happen?" The attendant: "Dozens of times every day." Mrs. Coolidge: "Tell that to the President when he comes by." The President came, and the attendant relayed what Mrs. Coolidge had requested. The President asked: "Same hen every time?" The attendant: "Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time." The President: "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."

The Coolidge Effect has been observed among many species, not only chicken and humans. A search on scholar.google.com returns some 1500 scientific papers that include the term.

When devicing strategies for great sex, a man should be aware of the phenomenon and make sure that not too many commitments undermine the necessary variety. For adolescents and young adults, variation is typically easier to achieve then for those beyond 30.

For folks above 30, the typical European / North American approach to sexual variation, however, is having affairs when being in a marriage or otherwise long-term relationship. When affairs are found out, a couple divorces, and the person who was previously an affair becomes the new significant other. Such a cycle is often associated with enormous costs for rich men.

When Jeff Bezos and his wife of 25 years, MacKenzie, divorced in 2019, she obtained 25 percent of Jeff Bezos Amazon stock, then valid at 35.6 billion US dollars.

To not go for more may be viewed as an act of kindness on her part, as she could have demanded 50 percent of all Bezos wealth. She changed her family name to Scott and married high school science teacher Dan Jewett, employed by the Seattle Lakeside School attended by the Scott / Bezos children. She has given billions of US dollars to charities, but because Amazon has been doing well, she is now (2021) many billions richer than at the time of the divorce.

Jeff Bezos' girlfriend as of 2021 is Lauren Sanchez. Their romantic relationship predated Bezos' divorce. It evolved in spite of Sanchez being married to Hollywood agent Patrick Whitesell. Sanchez is a helicopter pilot; her helicopter company was hired by Bezos to produce footage of Bezos' Blue Origin space company.

A subset of rich men (like Hugh Hefner) may be playboys or, when less rich, womanizers. The situation is fuzzy. Going for variation in Western culture almost always involves a lot of lying and cheating. Among men, only playboys can be fairly honest about their inclinations. Women bear with them because of many other perks.

Economic considerations do play a role in Western culture (girls want rich boyfriends, women want rich husbands), but in Western societies in the Third Millennium, the transactional character of sexual relationships (women agree for other values, rather than sexual satisfaction) cannot be openly admitted. The only politically correct foundation is that men and women have sex with each other because they love each other and have sexual feelings for each other.

Herbal sexual adaptogens

Obviously, every human emotion, including sexual desire and sexual satisfaction, is biochemistry before it is a feeling.

And unfortunately, the biochemistry of great sex cannot be reduced to a single chemical substance. It is NOT that testosterone would be the causal agent of sexual desire, and dopamine the causal agent of sexual reward. It is also not that estrogens would be the anti-testosterone per se, messing up male libido and erectile function. Both, sexual desire and sexual reward, are not mechanistic like, for example, bicycles. Sexual desire and sexual satisfaction, or simply great sex, is caused by the biochemical interplay of many factors, including estrogens, as expressed in the scientific article shown below:

Quote: "Estradiol in men is essential for modulating libido, erectile function, and spermatogenesis. Estrogen receptors, as well as aromatase, the enzyme that converts testosterone to estrogen, are abundant in brain, penis, and testis, organs important for sexual function. In the brain, estradiol synthesis is increased in areas related to sexual arousal. In addition, in the penis, estrogen receptors are found throughout the corpus cavernosum with high concentration around neurovascular bundles... Regulation of testicular cells by estradiol shows both an inhibitory and a stimulatory influence, indicating an intricate symphony of dose-dependent and temporally sensitive modulation."

You can NOT manufacture great sex by throwing testosterone at your endocrinology, and not with the many pharmaceuticals that are rumored in obscure corners of the Internet to make for better sex or easy orgasms. Rest assured, if any of those would work, whether dopamine agonists or atypical antidepressants, or melanin or melatonin, would work, big pharma would jump on it in no time.

They are not unaware of what libido drugs could achieve, financially. They know that big bugs can be made by drugs that make people feel good. That is why Bayer developed and sold heroin (as cough relief) before the drug was prohibited in the US in 1924, and this is why Purdue Pharma and the Sackler family sold OxyContin (a synthetic opiate).

Pharmaceutically enhancing sex is notoriously difficult, but the opposite, destroying a person's sexuality with all and any kinds of medicines, happens notoriously quick. Exogenous androgens (straight testosterone or anabolic steroids) and exogenous estrogens (contraceptive pills), or dopaminergics or serotonin agonists, they all have basically the same effect: they throw you off-balance, sexually. And off-balance is synonymous with "bad sex" one way or the other.

Western medicine is well aware of the concept of homeostasis. Every textbook for doctors-to-be starts with that concept. However, when medical marketing gets a freewheel, it often comes to appear as if any desired outcome can be arranged with medications or surgery. It cannot. Western medicine can treat many diseases, but is a poor substitute for health.

Oriental traditional medicine is much more concerned about achieving a good balance of the various components that make up good health, and uses herbs to achieve this.

You do not need the terminology of yin and yang, or humors, to understand homeostasis, and use herbs to achieve it. You only need to know that herbs are used as adaptogens, as concoctions that somehow balance the various aspects that are at interplay when maintaining good health.

Herbal sexual enhancement is to be understood in this context. Tongkat ali, butea superba, and kaempferia parviflora just happen to be three out of more than 400,000 plants, each with dozens of unique chemical compounds, that have a balancing effect on the different components that are required for good sex. Balancing hormones and neurotransmitters is not something that can be effected ad hoc. It requires some time. But the results are so much more gratifying than what is to be had by messing with pharmaceuticals.

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